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Ferlin Is In LOVES♥
Friday, October 23, 2009

Sweetheart finally bring me out again! Happy :) He wait for me after work, i was late 15mins Opps. Coz teaching new staff admin thingy. We went tgt to take car :D At night, mit up Ben long at his camp. Fetch him home to bath den go out. Followby, heading down to bugis to mit jasmine. Den baby 2 more fren joining us. So baby bought me n jasmine to parklane to play pool 1st. While he went back to seng kang to fetch hou sheng and derek.
At parklane, the place was so hot. Den i play till all sweat and pek cek. So stop. Went to play arcade game. Den go out to smoke. Baby reach le. But jasmine hungry wanna eat. So we tel them we go in to order Mac. They park e car ok le. Came in look for us. Den while jasmine is eating. Baby and his fren went to play pool. When jasmine eat finish, we tot that they will be playin pool for long. So we decided to open 1 table. This is how me and baby quarrel ><
When me and jasmine was playin half way, they close e table. I do not wad is happenin oso. Baby jus leave and din inform me wher he be going. Few mins, he came back wit black face. I was wonderin wad is happening. He din tel me. In e end, he say he go out find his fren 1st. We finish playin call him. Den i msg him says, if he is unhappy, i can go home myself. Den he reply and i reply. In e end, both side was unhappy.
So, me and jasmine decided to close e table and went out to find them. He still give e black face. As i do not noe that, they play pool is jus to wait for us finish eating. Coz baby told me he going to play pool. So i reali dunno. While in e car, i cried. I was wondering y alway quarrel de. Inside e car, we heading to BQ to drink.
Reaching BQ, alighting from the car. I wanna take a new pack of cig. I do not know e cig is wit baby. And i do not noe he was tokin to me sayin e cig is wit him. So i close up e door. When he alight. He bang e door. Walk few steps, he started to shout at me in front of his fren. I was so shocked! This is e 1st tym he shouted at me infront of his fren. I was so shame at that point of tym. So i burst out, i cried and scream back to him. Alright, as im up to my anger. i left and walk away with my tear on. I was so sad. Baby chase up me. I kept crying. I wanna dash out of the place to e road. He hold on to me. I calm down and we tok. Den walk back to his car there and i do my make up. My eye lashes drop coz i cry. So shame shame.
Finishing, we went to sake pub to drink. The next table "uncle" treat us total 2 jugs of beer and we order another 1 jugs ourself. So over there, We was drink, drank and drunk. HAHA!!! Went back home at abt 6.30am. And reach home at about 7.30am. I still got to work at 9am. So went home, chng w/o removing makeup and take a short nap. 8.30am wake up wash up, bath, remove make up and off to work. Baby lyk pig, slpslpslp. So i walk to office myself :D He tot i wun get up to work. I'm sorry baby, I disappoint you. In fact! I went to work. HAHAHAHA!!! Cannot imagine, i drink so much, yet i stil can up to work. HEHE!!! POWER RIGHT?!
Tonight going to night safari :p Will upload some picture and some news. Tata~
Tuesday, October 20, 2009

;yay, sweetheart comin back tml night. I miss sweetheart. B4 he went to field camp. He told me that he went for air force dinner. ok. i trust him. End up abt a week. I den found out that he not gg for air force dinner. He went to plaza singapura watch movie and went st james powerhouse. HAIS!!! I build up my courage to trust him. But den he bluff me. At tt tym, i was quite sad de. I onli wan him to explain to me. Den i be fine le. He keep apologise. I forgive him oh. I noe he lie to me mayb got his reason de ba. He promise me hor, he decided to treat me good and wun hurt me again le. I'm happy to hear that oh. That's y i nvr depress le oh. Coz i dunwan him wry le. Hehe. Now i will forgive and forget le oh. HAHA!!! Cnt wait to see sweetheart tml. Havin sleepless night for few days, coz dun hae his smell smell. hahahaa! SWEETHEART, FASTER BACK HOME. I'M MISSING YOU NOW!!!
Sunday, October 18, 2009

Missing my sweetheart badly :'( So mani days nvr see him le. Sad. He went field camp. Today 2nd day. Sob. He say, he gettin sick there. OMG. Den e sun sun so hot for him. OMG!!! So worry abt him leh. Sob. Miss him till cnt slp at night. Sob. SweetHeart, Faster come back. I misses u badly :(
Thursday, October 15, 2009

Baby tml going field camp till next thursday come back T.T 6days cannot see him wor. ;wild. Yawns, so tired recently. Din slp well at night. Baby told me not to eat anymore medicine, if not he will report to police. LOL! I ask him, u bear to report. He told me YES! OMG. So cruel. But i dun think i will do it again le ba ><" Hope to forget those sad , unhappy thing. I'm tryin hard oh. How i hope both of us can go back to e life we use to have. Can we really go back? Previously i was so depress and sad, and i was thinkin. If i reali love him, i shld let him go rites? I told him, he ask me dun run away. Wait for him come back tok. But den hor, he went for drinkin den came back home late and nvr tok to me? LOL?! It's time for me to see openly le ba. I'm not sure whether are we still struggling or not? BUT i tink let nature take it course ba. Is mine mean mine. Strange thing i keep thinkin? He suddenly put security code for his hp leh. Haha. But i trust him, he nvr do anything dui bu qi me de. My mind nvr go wild wild le. If i love him, I shld trust him de. :D If he wan show me his phone, he will auto show me de ba. So it's ok ^.^ Sadly is, i tear off e photo that i hang on e window. Shld i reprint it? and put back? Humpt. Alright, i shall stop here 1st. Tata~
Sunday, October 11, 2009

I feel so hurt. I nvr feel so hurt before. I'm tryin my best to retain this relationship, yet i fail. I got no more hope anymore. I'm just a hopeless gal now. To numb myself, i cut myself, i eat medicine. Ytd i wish i can just leave e world. So i wun be so hurtful. I ate nearly 100 tablet. I whole body no strength at all. I tot i was dying. How i wish i can jus die. Seriously no more hope between us. I'm trying hard. End up, Failed! You told me, u will try your best? Isn't this previously u say it to me? Yes, I believe. In e end, wad i get? Even now I dun even trust myself anymore. You are not e one who is hurting me. I'm e one who wan to hurt myself. It's not ur fault. dun blame urself ba. Blame on my stupidness ba. I noe u now tgt wit me coz u scare u leave me, i will commit suicide? If that e case, i rather u leave me. I dunwan you to kelian me. Kelian me den tgt wit me? I dunwan. I lost all e hope i put in. All gone to waste. What i can do is to numb myself. I lost my way. Who can lead me out of the darkness? I'm totally live in darkness. I see no brightness. Who can brighten up my live again? WHOWHOWHO?! I love a guy wholeheartedly, i did my best. I reali did my best. I got no appetite to eat anything. I lost all my emotion. I got no more emotion. There no more laughter in myself anymore. I got no more laughter. Let me live in darkness forever.
My heart now seriously injured, hurt, dead and broken. I nowhere to turn to. What thing can really numb myself? What thing can commit suicide? Just want to end my life, I dunwan to live in this world anymore. I have enough. I scare to face e answer. I just need someone to love me and care for me. Isit very difficult?
Thursday, October 8, 2009

HAHA!!! I have deleted e song lyric le. If not someone will be reminded by someone :D Hoho. Recently go work den back home. Din go much places lo. E movie tt me n hubby wanting to watch is OUT!!! So hubby tel me, e next day go watch. Hehe. Hoho!!! Tml is Sat le. I got no plan yet :D My fren they all, all jio me go clubbin. Den i ask hubby permission, HE SAY CAN GO!!! Where got bf allow their gf to go club de? If e gf kana grind by those guy there how? He say dun drink too much can le. OMG!!! He gif me those reply. Isit he dun love me le ma? Recently, msg gif me those reply. "Hahaha okay", "ok" diao. Lyk tt i dunno wad to msg le leh. I got no more idea. Alway i find idea out to msg de. Lyk tt we are driftin apart :( I dunwan leh. Sob. I mus reali find topic to talk le. Somemore. Recently i got those weird weird feelin. I being followed! I reali nvr think so much leh. My fren told me, he is back le. Walao. Is he following me? I reali feel uneasy lo. ><" No one believe me de. Sob T.T Nvm, i dunwan anything happen can liao. I'm scare of once. I dunwan it twice. I Hate e feelin lo. I will be crazy if happen again. Sob. Dont think too much le ba. :) Oh ya, ytd audi LP. Haha. Freesia Ring le. Gonna post pic up that i edited :)

Aster Ring on 16th September 2009


Freesia Ring on 8th October 2009


Ok! Enough of my rubbish. Shall update tml programme photo :DD Tata!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009

To all my friends, thanks for all the concern. I'm kinda fine now. Trying to see openly le. But of cause, e wound is still there. Hoping will heal up. I noe u all say me i'm a fool, shldn't hae to be wit him. Pls la, once u put in effort in e relationship, how can u all say put down mean put down de. I also not a playgirl. -.- How can gif up mean gif up de. Hais. I noe u all ask me leave him, coz e ans is there sayin no future, no xinfu. Hais. I oso noe it. But doesnt matter. I will try to make him love me wholeheartedly. If i fail to, Den i shall leave him automatically and i shall MIA too. T.T I'm tryin my best now. I tryin to give him e best, treat him good. Give him wadeva he needs, even my life i oso give lo. >< Isit stupid and silly? And u all mai influence me to leave him pls. My brain and my heart now unstable u noe? ZzZ. I wan love him la. I wan take care him can? ;diao My parent have high hope on me for this r/s. Pls dun be spoiler le la. Iyo!!! Dun make me San Xin Liang Yi. ;lala

I LOVE KENNEDY CHAN !!!
Sunday, October 4, 2009

Once upon a time, there a gal who met a guy. Being together, the gal feel so blissful with the guy. The gal even have her plan for their future. The gal love the guy deeply. The gal won't expect much from the guy. As long as the guy love her, she's contented. Whichever the guy needs anything, the gal will try her best to give him everything he like. On the gal birthday, the guy celebrate with her. She was happy. The gal have decided that she finally found the love that she wants. She looking forward for their future.
Nightmare appeared. The guy ex-lover is back. All the gal hope have smash. The gal is struggling with the hope that she want. She even want to sacrifice and give up all she have in hand to make the guy happy. Although the gal cannot bear to leave the guy, she trying hard to make the guy hate her, detest her and don't want her just to let the guy leave her. It's really hard to let go the guy that you love. But left with no choice, the gal try to chase the guy go. The gal doesn't want the guy to be with her cause the guy think, she's innocent, she's silly, she might do something stupid. The gal doesn't want that reason to keep the guy she love. She rather give up.The gal heart is seriously broken and shatter.
She want to start all new afresh. Forget everything, continue the life that the gal n the guy previously have. Is it possible for them to start all over again?
The gal want to give a chance to start all over again. The gal know that the guy not yet forgotten the ex-lover, the gal feel so hurt and lost. What should the gal do? The gal cannot live without the guy. Cause she already given her life toward this relationship. Her last wish is, she want the guy to love her wholeheartedly otherwise the gal will left with no choice but to leave the guy.
The gal want the guy to know that, If happen i really make up my mind and leave you. Don't feel sad and guilty. You didn't feel sorry for me. And do not feel sorry for me. Maybe my appear in your life is a wrong decision. Maybe it's time for me to give up whatever i have. U may think i'm cruel. But i'm sorry. I rather be the bad person than you be the bad person.Don't feel bad. Alright. You will surely find your happiness. Do not ever think of negative. A person might change.Maybe your friend is correct, shouldn't care about our feeling and follow whatever decision you want. The time we spent in singapore flyer, i'm happy le. The wishes that we make, may not come true anymore and so my bdae wish. Promise me, stay happy alway. Alright? I'm contented being with you all this while. Thank for being with me. Thank for your care n love. Really appreciate :)